Monday, April 24, 2006
my own insecurity
A friend of mine recently opened up about some insecurities in her life and my response to her was in a nutshell to count her blessings and go fill the nitch that God made you for. The truth is...we all have insecurities from time to time that we must deal with in our own way. For me...it's my weight and that probably always be the case. I love to cook food and therefore I enjoy eating the food that Evan and I make. I recently read something about how a new mom feels like that I now keep by my dresser. "Your body will eventually bounce back and You mind will finally measure its worth by something other than a dress size." I do feel like my contribution to like is greater now with my daughter on the Earth and while I still rejoice that I'm back in my pre-pregnancy capris...I'd dying to get new shorts in a smaller size or actually have the need for a belt again. I feel like I wear the same old clothes all the time but I actually have a whole closet full of them from my younger years that I wouldn't mind getting into again but need to shed those few (lol) extra pounds. Evan talks that when we eventually buy a house here we'll get some equipment but I'm not waiting that long. My girlfriend has offered the use of her equipment but that feels too awkward to use it with Carolyn running around. Nevertheless, I've decided that this is it. I'll never be the size of my beautiful sister-in-law but I'd sure like to try. Regardless though of the number on the scale, I have a husband who is crazy about me (both inside and out) and a daughter that lights up and runs to me when she sees me. So life can't be all that bad. My favorite verse is I Samuel 16:7 "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'" This is my favorite because it constantly reminds me that my weight is not important to God as so long as I'm fit enough to do the work for His kingdom. Just some more random thoughts from a stay-at-home mom who is still traveling down the road God has laid before her. I'm Out.
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6 comments:
I know how you feel. I have gained weight this year and I don't have a new baby to show for it either! lol I pray you find what works for you but know that no matter what size you become...I think you are beautiful just because you are you. Your love for Jesus far outshines any dress size. That's what I notice! Love ya!
I know how you feel. I have gained weight this year and I don't have a new baby to show for it either! lol I pray you find what works for you but know that no matter what size you become...I think you are beautiful just because you are you. Your love for Jesus far outshines any dress size. That's what I notice! Love ya!
I know how you feel. I have gained weight this year and I don't have a new baby to show for it either! lol I pray you find what works for you but know that no matter what size you become...I think you are beautiful just because you are you. Your love for Jesus far outshines any dress size. That's what I notice! Love ya!
I am with you on this one. I too would like to lose some lbs. It's a hard place to be. Sometimes I wish I could just be happy being fat, but other times I wish I were more motivated to do something about it.
Thanks Jess. I don't know if I'm the friend you were reffering to about using my equipment (because I offered it about a year ago), but please don't let Caroline stop you from coming over to my house and use mine! You know you're welcome here anytime. Also, we need to get outside and walk that trail, and ride our bikes together. I'm just down the street, and companionship sure makes it a lot easier to get into shape! I know that our bodies are not where our true worth lies, but let's face it, we're women who were brought up into a society where we're taught that if you carry extra weight, you're worhless. We can't help but to feel that pressure, or put the pressure on ourselves, if we listen to that. We could all learn a lot about loving ourselves no matter what, and understanding the beauty that God placed in each one of us. Many people just don't understand what an emotional struggle it can be, when you've handed yourself over to the lie that you're nothing if you're overweight. I can testify to that. I can honestly say that I need to be set free from things that have controlled me for years.
The weight issue is more of an issue because of my family's overall size and I don't want to follow in the footsteps of my mom (while I love her deeply despite her weight issue.) Just seeing her and the physical struggles she goes through has me concerned for myself. I want to learn from her instead of travel down that same roll. The good news is that Evan loves me irregardless and our marriage hasn't suffered for it but I know that some do.
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