Monday, April 24, 2006
my own insecurity
A friend of mine recently opened up about some insecurities in her life and my response to her was in a nutshell to count her blessings and go fill the nitch that God made you for. The truth is...we all have insecurities from time to time that we must deal with in our own way. For me...it's my weight and that probably always be the case. I love to cook food and therefore I enjoy eating the food that Evan and I make. I recently read something about how a new mom feels like that I now keep by my dresser. "Your body will eventually bounce back and You mind will finally measure its worth by something other than a dress size." I do feel like my contribution to like is greater now with my daughter on the Earth and while I still rejoice that I'm back in my pre-pregnancy capris...I'd dying to get new shorts in a smaller size or actually have the need for a belt again. I feel like I wear the same old clothes all the time but I actually have a whole closet full of them from my younger years that I wouldn't mind getting into again but need to shed those few (lol) extra pounds. Evan talks that when we eventually buy a house here we'll get some equipment but I'm not waiting that long. My girlfriend has offered the use of her equipment but that feels too awkward to use it with Carolyn running around. Nevertheless, I've decided that this is it. I'll never be the size of my beautiful sister-in-law but I'd sure like to try. Regardless though of the number on the scale, I have a husband who is crazy about me (both inside and out) and a daughter that lights up and runs to me when she sees me. So life can't be all that bad. My favorite verse is I Samuel 16:7 "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'" This is my favorite because it constantly reminds me that my weight is not important to God as so long as I'm fit enough to do the work for His kingdom. Just some more random thoughts from a stay-at-home mom who is still traveling down the road God has laid before her. I'm Out.